Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Terrible Traffic

Terrible Traffic Once upon a time, in a land far far away (called New Jersey), a young man fresh out of college would drive 90 miles each way to his new job as a college admissions officer. Occasionally, this young man had a hard time staying awake while on the road, so he would stop at the Woodrow Wilson rest stop around exit 7 to buy soft ice cream cones from Carvel (yum, delicious). While this Carvel ice cream eating young man loved his job, he secretly longed for the day when he would not have to spend 3.5 hours of his life behind the wheel of a car getting to and from the job that he loved. As luck should have it, the day came on July 7th of 2008, and now that same (not as young) admissions officer has a significantly reduced commute! Some days you can find him walking from his home in Cambridge to work which only takes him about 25 minutes. Most days, you can catch him cruising through the streets of Cambridge on his rusty old Mongoose mountain bike which only takes him about 8 minutes (if there is no traffic). In case you are wondering, the admissions officer of whom I speak of is me. In the words of the incomparable sage of Long Beach, Snoop Dogg He is I, and I am him.. Yesterday, there was terrible traffic in the streets of Cambridge the cops were out. .and it was just a mess for me to get back to the job from lunch. Eventually, I made it back to the my office and found that the source of the traffic was none other than MIT ADMISSIONS OFFICERS! My buddies Lauren Avalos and Maura Tierney were waiting in the middle of the street with circus noses for the annual ..pachyderm parade! When I found out that there were elephants in Cambridge, I ran to get some elephant bait to try to lure them closer so that I could hop on and take one for a ride! ..Alas, my efforts were to no avail and no elephants chose to hang out with me over peanut butter sandwiches. Next year, I am going to hang out with Shannon, because, she is clearly more knowledgeable about this whole pachyderm parade phenomenon than I am.

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